10/25/11

The evil cookie recipe


By request, I am posting the Evil Cookie Recipe.

Originally it was called Treasure Cookies, but I think it's just too nice of a name for something so evil, because nothing this good can be good for you.

Ideal occasions to bake Evil Cookies:

- When you want to gain three pounds in record time
- When you want more cellulitis on your butt cheeks
- When you don't know what to give someone as a gift
- When you need to apologize to your husband for being a bitch
- When you want everyone to fall instantly in love with you
- When you want to get high without drugs
- When you want people to think you have a talent for baking
- When it is sunny
- When it is rainy
- When it is snowing
- When the world is ending
- When you are PMSing
- When you are pregnant

What you will need:

- A box of Graham Crackers (the Honey kind is fine, but I use plain) - 1 1/2 cup crumbs
- 2 cups flour
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1 (14 ounce) can Sweetened Condensed Milk (not evaporated milk)
- ½ cup margarine or butter, softened (I do it in microwave)
- 1 & 1/3 cups flaked coconut
- 1 (12 ounce) bag semi-sweet chocolate chips (2 cups)
- 1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts

How to make these yummy things:

Preheat oven to 375°.

Place about 16 Graham Crackers inside of a plastic bag and beat the crap out of it with a kitchen hammer until the cookies become flour, or small crumbs. Fill up a cup and a half of Graham Cracker crumbs.

In a small bowl, mix graham cracker crumbs, flour, and baking powder.

In a larger mixer bowl, beat condensed milk and butter (remember to melt butter in microwave first!) until smooth. Add graham cracker crumb mixture; mix well. Stir in coconut, chocolate chips, and nuts. (Some people; I am not going to say who; can eat this batter as it is).

Drop by rounded tablespoons onto foil lined cookie sheet (I usually spray cooking spray on the foil). Bake 9 to 10 minutes, or until lightly browned.

Store loosely covered at room temperature.

A rounded tablespoon makes about 3-dozen cookies.

Tips:

- Because the cookies are so sugary, they may get stuck to the foil, so you REALLY need to wait for them to cool off. (Some people; I am not going to say who; have gotten their fingers really burned trying to pry evil cookies from the foil before they were ready).
- Keep watching the oven every three minutes because those things can BURN!
- I usually use pecans because some people have allergies to walnuts
- You can use fat-free condensed milk

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