Lost in translation

My mother thinks she speaks English and my husband thinks he speaks Portuguese, which makes communication in this here house very interesting. While one asks if the sky is blue, the other answers that the socks are in fact very yellow.

Also, neither one of them is aware that the other is speaking with me, so they are constantly talking on top of each other about topics that have no relation to one another.

I am sitting here on the couch between them. My mom is crocheting. My husband is watching football while studying something about war or killing people or something.

Me? I am trying to have a straight thought process while attempting to chat with other pregnant ladies online.

I can't, though, because this is what is going on every three seconds around me (switching back from Portuguese to English, sometimes overlapping one another),

"Tom Brady is awesome," "I want to go to Home Goods tomorrow," "That referee got punched on the face!," "You need new pajamas," "I hate studying this shit. This is so dry," "I'm hungry," "I'm hungry."

Hum. I guess I am hungry too. In both languages.

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