That slut

I have mentioned before (on the post "The Monster Upstairs") that being a stepmom is tough. Unless you have been in a stepparent's shoes, you have no business judging one. I have embraced that title, however, and have learned that it can mean many things, from ogre to saint.

I have realized today that I will also belong to another long line of negative archetypes at some point in my life: the mother-in-law.

Mother-in-laws are usually intrusive, feel entitled to give their opinion when not asked and seem to all have different ways to raise children and organize a house other than that of their daughter-in-laws.

As if a law of nature, mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws are supposed to march to a different drum.

In listening to numerous horror stories from some many different pregnant ladies, I tell my buttons I will never be that woman.

I will be a cool mother-in-law, or so I think.

My husband and some friends have recently asked me a series of questions and these are the cool and collected answers I came up for them, which should tell what kind of mother-in-law I will be.

My husband asks, "what if he picks some weird religion to follow?"
- As long as he has strong morals and values that are somewhat similar to the ten commandments I am OK with it.

My husband also asks, "what if he decides to join the military and is sent to war?"
- I have learned from watching my mom that the more she tries to stop or pushes my brother and I to or from doing something, the more inclined we are to do the opposite.

A strongly republican friend asked, "what if he turns out to be a democrat?"
- Read previous answer.

Other people ask, "what if he turns out gay?"
- Haven't you seen Modern Family? Nowadays any family dynamic goes; as long as he is happy (and uses a freakin' condom).

Finally, my husband asked, "what if he gets in a serious relationship with some girl when he is fifteen years old and wants you to meet her?"

Without missing a beat, I raise my voice, before thinking, "He is not bringing that slut over to my house!"